esoteric means to an end

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Item#: 9999
Level3
Containment Class:
esoteric
Secondary Class:
thaumiel
Disruption Class:
amida
Risk Class:
notice

Special Containment Procedures: Sapient exposure to SCP-9999 is to be limited. Actions and instructions as analyzed by klepto.aic should be considered prime directive.

SCP-9999-Ω must be completed as soon as possible.

Description:

α-Index Description Ψ Multiplier Predicted K-Class Scenario
67 Every human on Earth capable of bipedal locomotion jumps in synchronicity. 4.3 XK-Class End-of-the-World: An ill-understood reaction happens within the Earth's core, resulting in orbit destabilization which realigns the Earth's trajectory to collide with Mercury.
1038 SCP-173's file (including backups) becomes retroactively deleted due to a database error. 42.0 ZK-Class Reality Failure: An immediate reality cascade event occurs, causing narrative integrity deterioration and eventual annihilation.
992,620 An entity attains comprehension of the previous SCP-6969-α-992620 event. TBD CK-Class Restructuring: [unknown]1
14,703,455 The full choreography of the music video 'Oppa Gangnam Style' is performed 419 times by all Site-19 staff while the Foundation O5 Council stand straight with outstretched arms, observing. 0.006 SK-Class Dominance Shift: SCP-1000 instances spontaneously manifest all over the world, quickly overtaking human infrastructure and subjugating humanity.
109,045,109 The Sun takes its first breath since dawn, and learns to love.2 0.01 [DATA EXPUNGED]3
240,643,724 The population of the United States conscientiously cease consumption of fast food for a continual period of three weeks. 0.4 MK-Class Mind Blown: The noosphere experiences sudden metastructural implosions, resulting in the collapse of global consciousness.
344,729,486 The full choreography of the music video 'Oppa Gangnam Style' is performed 420 times by all Site-19 staff while the Foundation O5 Council stand straight with flapping arms, observing. 0.007 GK-Class Hostile Greenhouse: Earth's ecosystem becomes extraordinarily hostile to human life.
2,458,333,682,112 SCP-682 is cross-tested with over 400 other catalogued SCP. 99.24 NK-Class Grey Goo: All physical matter in contact with SCP-682 is rapidly transmuted, converting Earth into quadrillions of SCP-682 instances in under 24 hours.5
7,456,835,205,284 Robert Bumaro slips on a banana peel. 35.9 LK-Class Species Transmutation: All humans spontaneously transform into bananas of Gros Michel cultivar.
13,420,689,328,742 Same as α-344,729,486, with the song "It's Not Unusual" playing in the background.6 0.0071 XK-Class Instant Death: Total cessation of life initiates 7 seconds after the last performance ends.
20,697,434,387,897 Pastafarianism becomes the official religion of the majority of the world's sovereign states. 6.9 HK-Class Deific Subjugation: A supermassive entity (150+km in all dimensions) resembling common depictions of the Flying Spaghetti Monster materializes over New Zealand, after which the elimination of all other religions and related numinous entities begins by means of conceptual spaghettification.
31,415,926,535,897 The complete documentation of all SCP-6969-α instances.7 ███████ αK-Class End-of-Anomalies: The complete annihilation of all anomalies (as defined by Foundation consensus) as well as any sentient entities, organizations and collective bodies connected to the anomalous occurs immediately.89
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