Popsioak 1
Item#: XXXX
Level4
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
ekhi
Risk Class:
danger


621_Sixth_Avenue.jpg

SCP-XXXX, in the crowd.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be provided with a regular guest appearance as a bailiff in all future seasons of Judge Judy, as well as proper food, water, and shelter. Any litigatory actions taken by SCP-XXXX are to be immediately thrown out of court. Any concept owned by SCP-XXXX are to be used with appropriate trademark and copyright designations in Foundation documentation, in order to preserve conceptual integrity of these ideas.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation for Hebediah Oriah Oman, a 52 year old man of Arabic descent. SCP-XXXX displays reality-bending powers concerning conceptual existence. Utilizing international courts, SCP-XXXX has gained the trademarks for a variety of individual concepts, including

  • Rain™
  • A Slight Breeze™
  • Willow Tree™
  • Loneliness™
  • Cardboard™
  • E™
  • Litter™
  • Drinking™
  • Construction™

SCP-XXXX is able to control the use of these concepts to any extent. For example, SCP-XXXX revoked the rights for the State of California to use Rain™, leading to lengthy droughts within the state. In another event, SCP-XXXX briefly controlled Euphoria™, which allowed for SCP-XXXX to corner the illicit drug market. SCP-XXXX was convicted on related charges, and transferred to Foundation containment.


Audio Log


Note: Attached is a transcript of a scrapped episode of Judge Judy in which SCP-XXXX participated. SCP-XXXX was attempting to sue Marcus Viajere, a 42 year old man, over unlawful use of Lawnmowing™.


<BEGIN LOG>

Voiceover: Will the mysterious prosecution manage to wrestle control of the glorious John Deere from Mr. Viajere? We'll have to wait and see.

(The scene begins in the middle of SCP-XXXX's opening statement.)

XXXX: That's why, your honor, I state he's illegally using my trademark. The blades of grass he cut? Illegal, I tell you. He did it without my knowledge.

Viajere: I told you, I said that- You see- I had no idea that such a trademark even existed! It's preposterous, "lawnmowing" isn't even a brand! It's ridiculous, outrageous, and demeaning, in every sense of the word itself! Terrible, what this world has come to!

(Judge Judy bangs her gavel. Viajere falls silent.)

Judge: Ignorance of the law is no excuse, Mr. Viajere.

XXXX: Quite frankly, your honor, there's another crime being committed in this courtroom. That of blatant lying.

Judge: Care to elaborate, Mr. Oman?

XXXX: You see, Ms. Judge Judy ma'am, I very distinctly did not hear a "tee em" at the end of that Lawnmowing™.

Judge: Well, surely that doesn't extend to verbal use of the word itself, no? Nothing in the bylaws themselves… (Judge Judy begins to rustle around in her papers.)

XXXX: Well, check the suggested charges for the mister here.

(The bailiff confirms an extra count has been added on to Mr. Viajere's copyright infringement charge.)

XXXX: Told you, what'd I say? (SCP-XXXX smirks and shrugs, before a quiet ringing goes off. SCP-XXXX removes his phone from his pocket.)

XXXX: Looks like my SOUs for another two trademarks've been sent out, right on time. How neat.

Viajere: Oh, gods. Imagine how many many more people he'll kill off, how many companies will die because of this, Your Honor!

XXXX: Tut tut. It's God™ and Kill™ as of a minute ago, buddy. That's another two counts.

(Viajere begins to speak. Only a heavily garbled, throaty sound comes out, as he begins to be cleaved in two. When it is confirmed that Viajere no longer has a pulse, his body spontaneously disappears.)

Judge: My god.

XXXX: God™. It's God™.

(Judge Judy bangs her gavel. No counts of murder were ever brought up against SCP-XXXX. When the video was presented in court during SCP-XXXX's drug possession trial, it was thrown out for being 'clearly falsified evidence.')

<END LOG>

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