Popsioak 2

Item #: XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation WebCrawlers are to monitor www.buzzfeed.com for instances of SCP-XXXX. If a SCP-XXXX instance is discovered, the corresponding advertisement space is to be immediately taken down. Surgical records of Yolo County, California, are to be monitored for SCP-XXXX-2 instances. If presented at a hospital, SCP-XXXX-2 instances are to be cordoned off, and SCP-XXXX-1 is to be surgically removed and exterminated, while the SCP-XXXX-2 instance is to receive a Foundation-cloned replacement gastrointestinal tract. SCP-XXXX-1 instances that complete the infection cycle are to undergo therapy concerning the genuineness of their vital organs.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a series of cognitohazardous advertisements found on websites owned by Buzzfeed Inc, an American media and entertainment company. SCP-XXXX instances are categorized by clickbait-style text, poor grammar, and being created by 'Chitin Creations, Inc.' SCP-XXXX instances are only present on computers connected to internet located in Yolo County, California. Upon viewing SCP-XXXX, affected subjects, hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-1, will be affected by a pataproctological hazard, and believe their gastrointestinal tract is fictional.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances will immediately seek out surgical removal of their gastrointestinal tract, frequently citing it as being an "unnecessary nuisance." There has been no case of gastrointestinal surgery requested by SCP-XXXX-1 instances that has been rejected. This is assumed to be a secondary effect of SCP-XXXX infection, though testing is inconclusive. It is currently theorized that 5.6% of the anii of Yolo County are afflicted by SCP-XXXX infection, with almost half at SCP-XXXX-2 insertion phase.

SCP-XXXX-2 refers to a series of isopodic organisms bearing resemblance to C. exigua. A SCP-XXXX-2 instance will insert itself into the subject's chest cavity following surgery, via varied means, typically thaumaturgic in nature.

isopod

A juvenile SCP-XXXX instance.

SCP-XXXX-2 is capable of functioning as a non-anomalous gastrointestinal tract, by ingesting food that the host ingests, and diffusing necessary nutrients into the bloodstream. All waste is expelled through typical digestive waste routes. The reason as to why the host body experiences no auto-immune response to SCP-XXXX-2 is unknown. Following SCP-XXXX-2 presence in the host body for approximately 3 months, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will experience rapid morphological changes, in four separate stages.

  • First, the eyes will develop a secondary, nonfunctioning iris. A liquid form of chitin will begin to flow through SCP-XXXX-1's spinal cord. This results in six segmented chitinous leglike limbs erupting from the spinal column, resulting in blood loss and death in 40.2% of all SCP-XXXX-2 instances.
  • Second, the jaws will split along the vertical axis, creating four distinct sections with an equal amount of teeth each.
  • Third, pataproctological effects will expand to other vital organs, typically three, though the organs vary. Depending on the organ affected, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will undergo existential crises wherein the instance questions their identity. All -1 instances displaying these symptoms share a common question of "whether or not we should return back to that of the galactic six, and of the exoskeleton".
  • Fourth, the parasitic SCP-XXXX-2 instance will exit via the anal cavity during sleep, leaving behind an otherwise nonanomalous, complete gastrointestinal tract. However, in approximately 12.78% of fourth-stage cases, SCP-XXXX-2 reinfection has been observed, typically in organs affected by third-stage symptoms. Any previous symptoms are not alleviated following SCP-XXXX-2 exiting.

Addendum 1: Notable Infection Log

Patient Details Incubation Period Results
46 year old male, diabetic. Reached second stage. 11 days. Patient died via severing of vital nerves and subsequent blood loss.
21 year old female, no preexisting conditions. Reached first stage. 3 days. Died via consumption of rancid meat and subsequent s. aureus infection.
72 year old female, mild asthma. Reached third stage. 5 days. SCP-XXXX-2's third stage symptoms had infected the brain, pineal gland, and thyroid gland. Patient exhibited frequent mood swings and existential crises, eventually committing suicide by piercing the frontal lobe with a chitinous limb.
14 year old male. Reached fourth stage. 1 day. Patient's chitinous limbs were successfully surgically removed, and pataproctological effects had affected the brain, heart, and adrenal gland. Following SCP-XXXX-2 exiting, subject began to vocalize in limited clicks and tones produced by the jaws and rubbing of the chitinous limbs together, respectively. 32 days after SCP-XXXX-2 expulsion, a single laminated index card was produced from the patient's anal cavity.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER

CHITINOUS CREATIONS, INC.

WORSHIPPING THE INSECTOID INFINITE SINCE DAY ONE

1-800-CHITIN

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