Sharkeisha

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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS CLASSIFIED

WAY-GNARLY

UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL BE MET WITH IMMEDIATE PUGILISTIC SUBVERSION.


NOTICE FROM THE HOMBRES AT THE CICAPOCO

SPC-001 is currently Huge Mc-At-Large and is considered armless and highly dangerous. No attempts to confront this entity should be made unless the the TOTALLY-RAD challenger has a set of brass balls on 'em. Metaphorically AND literally.

If you encounter SPC-001 in the wild, die well or don't die at all.

Search, Punch, Conquer.


sharky.jpg

SPC-001 Last Known Sighting.


Selachian Personnel Conditions: SPC-001 fights without honor. Even for a Selachian. This motherless curr has been outfitted with highly experimental booping technology which has allow it to infiltrate, compromise, and exfiltrate a number of SPC facilities. Such historic losses have included numerous sharkoid breeding facilities including Centre-09, Centre-17, and Centre-19.

Although the specific descriptions and functions of all its technologies are unknown, we have been able to identify several pieces stolen from SPC experimental weapon facilities. The list includes but is not limited to:

  • Bristol-Meyers-Squid brand hair tonic, allowing for a lustry, silky smoothy, human-like head of hair.
  • Spectrographic Hyper-Inclusive Theoretical Talkbox [Codename: SHIT-talker] allowing for perfect imitation of human speech.
  • Omni-spectral refractive sharkfin geometry which scatters and bends light, allowing for short-term invisibility.
  • Anomalous bendy-straw drink-hat allowing capable of storing up to 210 hours of saltwater.
  • Pretty good sense of style, for a shark.

Observations: SPC-001 was first successfully identified in 2004 during the assassination of the CEO of Bass Pro Shops. During final negotiations of a mutual research agreement, one of the attending dignitaries removed a flesh-colored mask and unzipped a fully functional man-suit to reveal that they were in fact a 4.5 meter long, 1,800 kilogram Selachian specimen of an unknown configuration.


OUTLINE
War going well
Cornered
New entity
Teaches to eat fist
Losing arms, war turns
We get cornered
Sharks cant look up
Learn headbutt
SPC name cant change or reveal secret
Level 6 classified


https://www.flickr.com/photos/10845359@N02/2813630931
"Shark Lagoon" by Fotos_PDX is licensed under CC BY 2.0

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