The Reason Ulysses Doesn't Start With WARNING: IT'S GOT A BLOWJOB IN IT


gaycopmp4: blunt

polaricecraps joined the channel.

gaycopmp4: the cliffhanger doesnt work if we already knowyoure not dead
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: lmao
bluntfiend: Hm. I suppose you're right.
bluntfiend: In my defense, I'm high as shit.
gaycopmp4: g fucking j
bluntfiend: <:3c
bluntfiend: Did I ever tell you guys about the whole, uh, history behind the electricity thing?
lesbian_gengar: Not exactly, and I don't think they need to know.
polaricecraps: aw mother fuck did i miss papa smokes story time
bluntfiend: Yeah, you're right. Point is, the last time the janitors saw me do it, it was permanent.
orbhorse: ^ Me after two jars of ghost pepper salsa.
hetcopogg: ew.
TrainerDP: Pakoosh.

It always astounded Jude, the things that he could put his mind to when he was desperate — specifically, things from comic books. He could keep three people in the phone lines for maybe two minutes… would that be enough? Would the strings of fate loosen before they all sang the body electric?

CommunismAnarchismNihilism: seriously dude?
gaycopmp4: i literally JSUT called you out on this lmao

Yes. Yes they would.

Their bodies tore themselves back together. Bit by bit. Quarks. Bosons. Armand knew the science. The rest of them didn't. What they all knew was that it was cold. They groaned barefoot, buzzing out of the air. The crackling smell of air freshener.

gaycopmp4: is this bit like a reference to something or what are you doing
bluntfiend: I did a cool thing, I get to describe it dramatically.
hetcopogg: sorry but you're really bad at it
bluntfiend: Okay, fine. lmao
bluntfiend: So we all wake up in a hotel room in Iceland.
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: worst hangover sequel ever
bluntfiend: I mean, I *meant* to send us to Iceland, but I don't know how we ended up in a hotel.
bluntfiend: Fancy one, too.
bluntfiend: Confusion ensues, etc.
bluntfiend: Whole lot of bullshit I was not high enough to process.
bluntfiend: Andy actually had Euros in his account for some… reason. I have no idea what his deal is. So he cashed that out. Kinda mad about kars or something.
bluntfiend: LG's gonna get us, like, IDs. As per our original plan.
bluntfiend: Andy went out and bought me some weed, I'm gonna have to pay him back. Apparently it wasn't hard to find, but it was like $200 for an eighth.
bluntfiend: And that's about where we are now, I guess. I'll have to get a job, eventually. I don't know how to make euros out of thin air.
bluntfiend: So… yeah.
lesbian_gengar: what about jj?
bluntfiend: Oh, right. He actually called the hotel room's phone like, a half hour ago.
bluntfiend: After I did my thing, the janitor guy just told Amanda to fuck off. Since we were all apparently dead, I guess? Guess that's why my trick worked.
hetcopogg: more like amandumb
bluntfiend: She, uh. The guy with the gun hadn't gone away yet.
gaycopmp4: so she died and you thought the weed price was more important
bluntfiend: She got hit in the ankle, relax. JJ ditched after that.
PCSatisfatorio: whats the view like over there i heard theres no sun in iceland
bluntfiend: Not sure.
polaricecraps: all three of these things are fucked up
bluntfiend: I'm kind of stuck in the bathroom right now, for various reasons.
orbhorse: Isn't there some salsa from Iceland that literally put people in the hospital?
gaycopmp4: icelandic salsa is folded up to a million times to produce the finest laxative known to mankind
PCSatisfatorio: like for a half of the year its just dark
hetcopogg: y'all are gross.
hetcopogg: gaycopmp4, break up with me over this.

harmpit joined the channel.

polaricecraps: seriously though can someone like give me some logs or something
gaycopmp4: no
bones: polaricecraps: Sent.
polaricecraps: thx
bluntfiend: … harm, what the fuck are you doing here?
PCSatisfatorio: ??
bones: Is there some issue I should be aware of?
bluntfiend: No, well, kind of?
harmpit: :34
bluntfiend: I can literally hear him sucking Andy's dick in the next room.
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: power move
harmpit: your'e just jaelous
polaricecraps: this just in papa smoke is the world's worst storyteller
bluntfiend: First of all, not even a little. Second, WHY are you on chat right now?
harmpit: it's liek taht somettimes
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: i actually exclusively talk in here while sucking dick
orbhorse: See, now I'm wishing when I thought "someone is going to get a blowjob out of this whole deal", I would have said so, so I could say I called it. But I guess you'll just have to believe me.
gaycopmp4: cool story
bluntfiend: Does he know that you've, like, never brushed your teeth?
tiedyeduck: guys holy fuck
tiedyeduck: someone drew a gijinka of my dog
PCSatisfatorio: what
polaricecraps: wut
gaycopmp4: what
lesbian_gengar: okay i just got back and: what?
bluntfiend: If someone wanted to suck mwait hold the fuck up
bones: tiedyeduck: Unless you can show us the gijinka, we'll have to assume this is a ruse.
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: what in the goddamn
tiedyeduck: is there still a channel ban on anime tiddy
bones: Yes.
tiedyeduck: then i can't
bones: I see.
harmpit: in theb utt
gaycopmp4: osaugpojgasdknsaldgakfd;la
hetcopogg: @lesbian_gengar dog tity alert just thought you should know
lesbian_gengar: gaycopmp4 please break up with your gf.
PCSatisfatorio: whats a gijinka
lesbian_gengar: she needs to be taught a lesson in not making fun of me for two years about this
bluntfiend: Hey tiedyeduck, what's your dog's name again?
tiedyeduck: noooooo nope
gaycopmp4: apsodignpoADFPOGIAODSGJO WHY IDD SOMEONE DRAW A GIINKNA OF YOUR DOG
tiedyeduck: i'm not telling you
harmpit: wehn i was 87 i thout my catw as a human inh iding and i kept kissin gitlike a frog tot urn her bakc
bluntfiend: It's just an innocent request. What breed is it? Just so I can get a good visual in my head.
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: PCSatisfatorio, it's like a humanized version of something. Usually as a cute girl.
tiedyeduck: i regret everything
hetcopogg: seriously what's the context here you can't just say "someone drew a horny human girl version of my dog" and just leave it out there
PCSatisfatorio: oh like a humanization except youre all weebs so you use the confusing word for it
gaycopmp4: fgsfds
tiedyeduck: it's a really long story okay like i wrote a thing and used her picture for it and the story got popular in japan blah blah blah
polaricecraps: okay harmpit's thing is actually adorable can we talk about that?
orbhorse: The real story here is that tiedyeduck is a nerd.
tiedyeduck: hey hetcopogg lesbian_gengar just pmed me asking for a link to the pic
hetcopogg: LOOOOOL
lesbian_gengar: so what if i did?
harmpit: thanks polaricecraps
hetcopogg: yiff yiff motherfucker
lesbian_gengar: dog girls are good and pure.
tiedyeduck: this one ain't
CommunismAnarchismNihilism: yiff
PCSatisfatorio: it's weird to collect jerkoff material based on someone's dog
bluntfiend: I actually kind of agree.
harmpit: yiffyiff
bluntfiend: Of course, I think porn in general is kind of weird.
tiedyeduck: i just sent it to her
tiedyeduck: like at the end of the day it's not a big deal
lesbian_gengar: yeah this is basically porn.
hetcopogg: YIFF
hetcopogg: I
hetcopogg: F
TrainerDP: i wrote a script so that my computer won't open irc until its microphone picks up something that sounds like a dick getting sucked, goml
hetcopogg: F
tiedyeduck: i'm mostly just, reeling, that this is now a thing that has happened, in my life.
TrainerDP: fuck, i was scrolled up, nvm
bluntfiend: tiedyeduck, yeah, I definitely know that feeling.
tiedyeduck: what
tiedyeduck: like someone drew furry porn of your dog?
gaycopmp4: thats definitely what hewas talking about. brilliant guess
TrainerDP: furry porn who what
bluntfiend: No, the "this is such a weird thing and now I have to live my life knowing that it's real." thing.
bluntfiend: Like all that bullshit that just happened today.
tiedyeduck: bruh you realize all of us can do magic
hetcopogg: couf
tiedyeduck: all the cool ones
harmpit: rued
hetcopogg: ^
hetcopogg: arrowblocked
tiedyeduck: it's so not the same
tiedyeduck: you having some dumb magic adventure is like a tenth the fucked upness of this titty dog
harmpit: yeahr elax
bluntfiend: Heh. Yeah, I get that.
harmpit: k fniished
lesbian_gengar: finished with what?
TrainerDP: snrk
bluntfiend:

bluntfiend has left the channel.


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